PARTY
IDEA:
If there's one thing that you can say about me as I get older, it's this:
I'm cranky, cranky, cranky and I simply LOVE to complain about the things that annoy me. I also love to eat, although I do have to watch myself! But that
is why I think a theme party dedicated to the Geezer's Art (Whining) and the Geezer's Science (Early Bird Dining) is a perfect way for me to entertain my favorite bunch of friends.
PARTY DECORATION IDEAS:
Who do you think of when you think of complaining? I think of Andy Rooney, Emily Latella from Saturday Night Live, John Stossel, and consumer advocates like Ralph Nader. Salute them all by photocopying their pictures (get them off the Internet or from magazines at the library) and
put them on helium balloons. It's like having the Royal Court of Complainers right in your own home!
If you have a chance to add inflatable Geezer lady offered on this site, they would be hysterical to use as decorations. You could attach complaining "thought bubbles" with a piece of tape (just a piece of paper cut-out like a bubble in a comic strip). Position one at the door with a "Who
in the world are these strange people," one by the bathroom with "I hate it when men don't put the seat down,"…you get the idea!
Depending on your budget, nothing brings guests at a party together like wearing
hilarious
hats. The most popular is the "I
Don't Wanna Grow Up" Beanie (I wonder why?)! All of the hats featured on this site are adorable and you'll be surprised how much fun people have deciding which way to wear them -- straight, "behind-the-plate" style, or at a rascally angle. I also like the idea of the black
"Over the Hill"
ribbons.
PARTY MUSIC IDEAS:
Marie Osmond may be a little bit rock and roll, but for a Whine and Dine party, I'm more like
her brother Donnie -- a little bit country. Country songs are FILLED with complaints and singers "crying in their beer" with sentiments like I've Been Flushed From The Bathroom Of Your Heart, She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger, and You're the Reason Our Kids Are So Ugly. (Now that's whining!)
If your group is up for it, you can play the game of inventing country western song titles that include the words like complain, fuss, moan, kvetch, etc. Let the group pick the winner of the "Grumpy Grammy" and present him/her with a
Geezer
t-shirt for a prize.
PARTY GIFT IDEAS:
There's no bigger grump than Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street. How about "Grouch Wear" - a t-shirt with Oscar on the front. If you're computer savvy (which I'm not), there are great programs that let you make your own transfer, so this doesn't have to be a costly gift.
You can also pick up one of Andy Rooney's old books (sometimes I see them at garage sales and on the remainder table at the big bookstores)
If you're into 'Geezer
gift baskets' GiftsForGeezers.com has hilarious choices if you don't feel like putting together your own. I like that they offer stuff that's really affordable
(5 laughing stars) as well as stuff that's "deluxe" (14
laughing stars or more!).
PARTY SCENARIO IDEAS:
When a guest arrives, they should sign in. I love the idea of an old-fashioned "guest book" and it's a great way to create a wonderful keepsake of the evening. You can use a simple composition book or go to the stationery store and buy a book with blank pages, but I think that the
Over
the Hill Autograph Hound on this site is a great contemporary alternative, especially if your Whine and Dine party is for someone's birthday.
After a guest signs in, hand him/her an itinerary for the evening. The title: Your "I Hate Not Knowing What Comes Next" Guide to "Whining and Dining."
The itinerary details all the things that your party will include and what time they'll happen--
Refreshments and Warm-up For Whining, Break for Some Whining & Dining, Whining About Games
& Playing Them, Too; Time to Go Home - (whine, whine).
As well as letting everyone in on what you in store for them -- and getting them excited in advance -- the itinerary is a subtle way of keeping your activities on schedule and letting guests know what time you expect them to leave!
After that…let the fun begin. You want your evening to be structured, but not rigid. Enjoy cocktails and snacks. Whip up some whining. When people are at a fever pitch, calm things down by serving dinner. Then, as people start to fade…filled to the gills with your bountiful meal, get their blood going again with party games and dessert. Before you know it, the clock will be striking "Bye-Bye" and you'll have another successful soiree to notch into your belt.
PARTY RECIPE IDEAS:
Drinks:
Punch in the Nose - punch bowls are great because you don't have to worry about someone serving drinks...guests can serve themselves.
Sour Grapes "Cocktails" - Grape juice mixed with soda water
Cranberry the Hatchet "Cocktails" -- Cranberry Juice, Soda Water, Lemon Slices
Appetizer:
Chip on Your Shoulder with Discontented Cow's Milk Cheese - Make giant chips by brushing a full-size tortilla with a little olive oil and baking at 325 degrees until crispy and then cutting them in four. Plan on one chip per guest. Garnish the chip with a tablespoon of salsa, a teaspoon of shredded cheddar cheese, a dollop of fat-free sour cream, and an olive or a slice of jalapeno (for the hottie lovers in the crowd.) If your geezer friends are like me, they don't like to eat too many chips since we're always watching out weight and our cholesterol. That makes this "one to a customer" portion-controlled appetizer idea a real winner at the buffet table.
Dinner:
What's Your Beef Bourguignon
Stick It In Your Ear (Corn on the Cob)
Squash the Competition
Depending on the season you can use zucchini, summer squash, or any variety that you enjoy
Set up a "Let off Some Steam" table and let guests serve themselves. (You don't really have to use steam. Some Sterno cans under the aluminum tins that restaurant delivery services use do the trick nicely.)
Dessert:
Fussbudget's Fat-Free Favorite - any fat-free recipe will do, of course, although I love the crazy things you can do with jello! Put fruit in it, around it, top it with a little low-cal topping. Heck, the geezers I know could have a party just around Jello! What's nice is to pick a sugar-y dessert. After a heavy meal like beef, you'll want to give people a little lift. I don't drink coffee late at night because it keeps me up, but I never say no to a little "sugar rush."
GAMES OR GUEST INTERACTION IDEAS:
Lots of people will howl and moan when you announce that it's "Game Time," but who cares? This is a "Whine and Dine" party, so let 'em complain!
The "It's My Party and I'll Complain if I Want To" Game (or "Prime Beef")
This game couldn't be easier. It's really just about giving the geezers a forum to air their grievances, point fingers at "the guilty," and feel superior. Everyone has 30 seconds to mouth-off. After everyone is finished, the group votes and a prize is given to the person who served up the best "beef."
The game is pretty free-wheeling and doesn't require any set-up or "props," so it's perfect for a scaled-down
gathering. However, to make sure that the game is played in the spirit of fun, you will need to establish three "Ground Rules."
Rule #1 - Guests may not complain about hot-button topics
Politics, religion, reproductive rights, sexual orientation, and other issues about which people have deeply held beliefs should be avoided. The point of the game isn't to change the world, just to complain a little.
Rule #2 - Guests may not "get personal"
Complaints about spouses, family members, absent friends, etc. are not acceptable.
Rule #3 - Agree to Disagree
Opinions expressed are not open for discussion. Guests who disagree with the speaker's point of view may not interrupt. Those who do should be told to "Sit On It!" and given a pillow (or something else) to sit on as a reminder.
The "It's Hard to Be Rich and Famous" Game
There's a website filled with complaints made by celebrities, everybody from Mark Twain to Christian Slater, with Zsa Zsa Gabor, Dustin Hoffman, and Diana Ross in between. Read the quotes to your guests and have people guess who was whining. They can ask yes-and-no questions like in 20 Questions (Is it a man? Is this person dead? Does this person work in Hollywood?) Find the quotes at:
www.corsinet.com/braincandy/complain.html
SPECIAL INSTRUCTIONS:
Maybe I'm being an old worry-wart, but hey I'm a geezer, so what do you expect? After the evening of hilarity at your "Whine and Dine" party, make sure that everyone is feeling clear-eyed and energetic enough to get home safely without a problem. Have the number of your local car service on hand so that you can reach for it easily if one of your guests needs a ride.
OUR PARTY DESIGNER: Debbie Feldstein spent ten years as Executive Director of the New York office of the Emmy Awards where, in addition to other duties, she was responsible for creating presentation ceremonies, press conferences, nomination announcement ceremonies, and a broad spectrum of activities from ultra-luxe to plain-and-simple. This "party girl" has turned her creative talents to
help us old timers provide theme parties for GiftsForGeezers.com.
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